When I wrote my first blog post back in 2014 it was terrible.

I knew it wasn't good, and my mum thought so too (I think she was the only one to read it). I found expressing my ideas through writing challenging, and my brain froze from fear of judgment.

No one saw that first post I'm fairly sure, but it didn't stop my mind from imagining “millions” of people criticising my work.

When I worked in corporate for a couple of years, the context of work was new to me. I had imposter syndrome and I felt like I would be caught out on the next task, or in the next meeting. I carried this fear with me to work everyday, it was paralysing.

I share these two stories to highlight what's underneath imposter syndrome.

Firstly, I had a skill gap in both examples. I needed to learn how to write better, by writing regularly. In the corporate job, I needed to learn more about the project and really understand the ins-an-outs to do my job well. There were skills or knowledge that I had not yet acquired but that I would need to learn over-time.

Secondly, our insecurities make us incredibly self-conscious. They're made up stories we tell ourselves which can get in the way of doing what we want or learning new skills.

What held me back in the corporate role was the constant self-critiquing and the pressure I put on myself to “know it all, now”.  There was no room for humility, to get it wrong, to learn and be a student of sorts.

My inner critic told me “I should know this”, “I'll never be good at this”, or I looked at others and thought “Everyone is better at this than me”

My insecurities didn't allow for a learners mindset, it held me back from asking questions for fear of looking out of my depth, making it hard to bridge the skill gap.  

I didn't realise until years later when I started writing that I'm able to learn so much when I don't listen to my insecurities.

Our inner critic is usually telling us how much we suck. There's almost always an element of how we need to “fix” ourselves to be better, that we're not smart enough, we're broken, or inadequate and that must be corrected in order to be ‘good'.

Those thoughts will be there, but they are not information about YOU!

They are not information about what you are capable of doing.

It's only insecure thinking.

And we ALL have it.

Where in your work are insecurities holding you back?